So walk a little slower, and open up your eyes
Sometimes its so hard to see
The good things passin by ♡

old (but gold..?)

Unspecific Reasons
11.01.2008

Tears rolling down my face,
I wonder what I should think
About life, and living and things
And what I should do to make it worth more than a red brick

Tears rolling down my face,
Feeling weak because I know I can be strong
I refuse to try a smile
Wondering where it has gone

Tears rolling down my face,
Is everyone too blind
To see me hurt?
They don’t want to see, ask, help, be a friend?
What about hdl…?
How easily we left the truth of a friendship behind…

Tears rolling down my face,
I wonder if they mistake my frown
For bitter arrogance,
When it’s the broken pieces
That multiply
Every time I decide to fall over to fly

Tears rolling down my face,
I remind myself of better days
When I was courageous
And the world wasn’t such a battle place

Tears rolling down my face,
Listening to the scientist
Not doing anything in specific
Just sipping on the sweet bitterness from the spilled pain
Making it hurt again and again

Tears rolling down my face,
this wonderful world that god has created…
Sometimes belonging to the too unthankful people
I’m afraid to walk out there.

Tears rolling down my face,
Never seeming to finish with mixing the chemical feelings
This ongoing phase is going to be over
As this poem is

shepherd or sheep

"A sheep of the herd, it's own sheep. Wanting to be heard. As it’s own self. A shepherd."

Everytime i hear people say mean things about other people,
I imagine I am that person that they are talking about. Just that they’re telling these things directly in my face.
And I feel so bad, and I try to say something, that will defend that person. Defend me. Defend my opinion.

That’s how I loose myself.

That’s what gets me scared.
That other people are talking about me, and that there won’t be someone who will defend me.

I’m just caught in between two walls, and I try to be the person that doesn’t have the chance to explain themselves.

I try to be everyone. I try to solve people’s problems, by trying to make them see the other sides, because people just don’t talk. About the things, that really matter. So how am I supposed to know, what really matters, if they never really talk to each other about what matters to them truly?

And that’s just something I really hate about this world. That people aren’t talking about how they really feel.

And then I get scared, when I talk about how I feel. Because people judge so much, and I don’t want to get caught up in it. It makes me doubt every good thing about anyone in this world. Until there’s no other way left than that I just express my insecurity that is the result of just trying to be everybody. Not knowing what’s left of me.

But the thing is, I forget myself. When I talk to someone, I forget who I am. I forget what my opinion is about things. And this is no lie. Because I hear so much crap, and I take things so seriously. I try to take it seriously, because other people don’t, and I try to make them see it more seriously, if I am.

Things, that really matter to me. Like someone I like. That’s when I jump into myself. That’s when I really try to see my view of things.

My reality has kind of flown away, because I try to see the world through the view of the person who can not defend thou self.

I like it when people show me, what really matters to me. I am a sheep of the herd, but I am my own sheep. That wants to be heard. As it’s own self. A shepherd.


Xx,
Annette

Dare

It's thinking you're on the right track

finding a cure by looking at things like this and that,

when really, it has almost nothing to do with real life.

It's a kind of knife,

that stabs you in the back.

Real life is living,

not thinking about living.

Only thinking about living,

is being in a state,

of being afraid of going there.

Dare.

Because what you're afraid of,

doesn't come from outside,

I hope, this poem is one step,

That can make you lessen your hide.

Take the lead,

Because even you being afraid is fine.

And you'll feel fine,

Because you know,

that feeling fine,

is quite alright.

It'll turn into a state,

Where you no longer have to debate,

About how to deal with everything in the proper way.

It's all yours, hey ;)

It's your way.

And that's the good way.

Annette Mentz

Hey guys,

do respect though, that people need different things at different states of their lives or their depressions.. Sometimes going out partying helps, but other times, it's just really better to stay inside and cuddle up in a warm blanket to watch an awesome movie.

I hope the poem will be one of the things, that lead you more in the direction to bring you back to where you want to be.

The poem is not about really doing a radical thing. It's for you, who is already thinking about doing more. It's a step further than the step of accepting your depression and yourself with it. Because a depression is also part of life, and life is a process, a big one, in which a depression is a little process.

Yes, it is a LITTLE process compared to the BIG one. ;)

P.S. Even not having hope is kinda hopeful. Because you're still here and alive.

Xx,

Annette

Do you know..?

Do you know,

the situations in which you don’t know,

You don’t know,

What’s going on with you.

You just know,

That you wanna stay this way for a while.

When no one really knows,

What’s going on with you.

Noone notices though.

Everything is going too fast.

You just wanna stay this way for a while.

You don’t know, what it is,

But you know,

Staying this way, you should be alright although.

Right

It’s just you, who can know.

You know, that you know.

Somewhere.

You know, you need it slow.

Go slow, to the place where you know.

You know, it’s gonna be alright.

Right?

You don’t know, if you wanna go.

You don’t know, if you wanna take it.

Because there’s been so much now.

It’s not being one person.

It’s not getting that together.

It’s not seeing myself together.

It’s not knowing that I’ve had a tough week behind me.

It’s not being fair to myself.

It’s been a tough week.

And I didn’t want the superficiality-flow.

I liked your honesty.

I miss honesty.

I could have fallen in love with you.

Xx,

Annette